Contentment. Is it just a myth?

God has been showing me something very interesting these past couple of weeks. We have already established that I don't do well in relationships with men. I was being kind to my self when I said "don't do well". It's actually something I am HORRIBLE at. Through out the last couple of weeks I have had the opportunity to speak with people who are in a bad relationship or have been in one. I started to notice a pattern. I was able to notice it because I had seen it before, In my own life.

When people talk about bad relationships, they always start out saying every negative thing that ever happened. They talk about their feelings and use phrases like, "I'm not happy". He or she "just doesn't make me happy anymore". In these discussions, I saw that the people telling the tale of woe never revealed their negative part in the relationship. In any situation there are two sides to the story. God has blessed me with some great married girlfriends. Their marriages have a Christ centered foundation that I have learned a lot by being around. It would be silly for me to think that they don't have difficulties, and that my girlfriends are the perfect ones. My girlfriends are gorgeous, but not perfect. When they read this they will agree.

*** One side bar, if your ever in an abusive relationship, LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. It's Biblical. We make mistakes, but you don't have to die for them Jesus already did that for you. One day we will discuss that on the blog. That is a completely separate issue. *****

Think back to when you got something you've been waiting for a long time. A new outfit, a husband, boyfriend, new car, etc. Think back to that day. You were so excited. Your hard work had paid off. You finally got what you have desired. Your going to be happy now, forever right?

A friend of mine bought a car two years ago. This car was a life savior. She didn't have a car before and she was having to get rides from people, she didn't have her own independence, she couldn't help her kids get around, she almost lost her job b/c she couldn't get to work or was late trying to find a ride. She finally got a car. When she did she was on top of the world. Her fears had subsided. She was able to help her kids, she was going to get to keep her job. Life for her was good. This week she came to me complaining about that very same car. She wasn't happy with it. The same car that was a life savior just two years ago, your not happy with? I asked her if the car had any problems, she said no. She was just tired of it. She had gotten herself in somewhat of a financial bind with it, and that was creating grief as well.

Another friend of ours got a new 2008 car this week. This friend had a beat up car. (similar to the condition on my car) She drove it for a long time, never complained about it. It was blowing smoke out the tail pipe, it has dents and dings, and the color is not the same all over the car. (again similar to my car) I have a heart for people who have had there car past the 10 year mark. She always said, "it might not be pretty, but it gets me to where I need to go, and I have no complaints". The car sparkles, it smells new. She had been saving her money for along time, in order to get this car. She had been preparing for the day of renewal.

It's no coincidence that my first friend decided this week to speak badly of her perfectly good car. She makes mention of it now, when we leave to go home, how nice it is and how she wished she had one. We've had several conversations on how if her circumstances were the same as friend #2 she would be able to buy a new car too.

Contentment in any relationship is vital. Material things and people cannot make us happy. The lack of these things cannot steal our true joy. The world makes you think that your husband or boyfriend,should be able to meet your every whim. He should know what you need without even telling him. If he knew you the way he should you wouldn't need to tell him anything. He would just be able to look into your darling face and just know how to make you happy. Single gals have that shoved down their throat, in movies, TV, romance novels. Wouldn't it be nice to have the wind blowing through your hair, a spot light on you, and theme music every time you enter a room. That's what I think when I see a romance novel. Sorry, lets go back.

Contentment. We all will have seasons where we don't feel content. Keep in mind that feelings come and go. We are not to live our lives according to how we feel. Boy did I really muck up my life doing that. That brought me to a place where I was just out to make myself happy. If you couldn't do it for me, I was on to the next person that could. I made one bad choice after another. I was never content with myself. I blamed everything on the other person, so I wouldn't have to really look inside my self to find out that I was the problem. I believe trying to attain happiness under our own will becomes and addiction. Living my life that way lead me straight to Jesus. In my experience, I was trying to fill the void that I had in my life with what ever made me happy at the time. I needed to have the things or people that would make me happy around all the time. When your happy you don't have to acknowledge the bad stuff that's going on around you. Things that are happening to you or around you all seem to fade away when your "happy". Happiness is fleeting. That's why we try so hard to get it. It's temporary. When we try to gain happiness in other people you tend to want to change them according to what will make you happy today. When they won't comply or they can't make you happy you become frustrated. There was nothing wrong with friend #1"s car, until friend #2 got a new one.You cannot ever change another person, only your self. You can pray for that person, and ask God to use you as a tool, but you cannot change them. Only Jesus has the ability to take what was broken and make it whole again. If you find yourself in a situation that needs change, pray about it, go to his word. He will give you comfort and direction. I will not lie to you. Life changing experiences are hard, but so worth it in the end. If you don't know where to go or who to turn to to get back on track, cry out to him and he will hear you. He loves us and wants what he knows is best for us. That looks completely different from what you see right now. I guarantee, you wont regret getting yourself on track with the Lord. It will be difficult some days, and you will need to cling to him. Other days you will experience contentment like you have never been apart of before. When we make Christ our priority, things will start to fall into place. You will start to notice a change. People around you will notice a change as well. Others around you, will have the opportunity to change. I have learned so much about myself in the last 4 years. Things I have tried to figure out on my own for 35 years, God has revealed to me in 4. I'm still growing, and I'm still learning. God gives us the opportunity to learn and grow with him every second of the day. Learn all you can from the positive people God places in your life. You won't regret it!