Thursday, December 10, 2009

Bejeweled Blitz

Every time I play this game I get a kick on how it resembles daily life.

There is a 1:00 time limit. This is so you don't frustrate your self to death. You get as many jewels in a certain color pattern for points. You put them in a row of three or four or five. There is a hint button if you get stuck and you can't see what's right in front of you. You hit the button and it points to where your next move is. I have difficulty seeing things fitting in from the left side into the row. I am much more efficient if I keep moving the jewels to the right. I guess I'm use to seeing things on the right. 9 times out of 10, I have to use the hint button, b/c there is a match of colors that are from the left side. I hate using the hint button. There is no one watching me use it, and no one cares for that matter. When I have to use it, it makes me feel weak. What I needed was right in front of me, why couldn't I see it? Why did I have to rely on that "hint" button? Why couldn't I just figure it out my self?The time runs out, the games over. If you choose, you play again. The clock starts again at 1:00 and runs back down to 0:00. The object of the game is to not only beat your score, but beat your friends score.

God gives us 24 hours a day to do life. Some days are better than others. Some days we can accomplish what we need to, others we have no idea why we even got up out of bed. God gives us each a new day to try again. Life some days is a game. You try to make sense of why things happen the way they do. When life is really hard, and life has just been turned upside down, we have a "hint" button. The Bible. We go to the word for direction, comfort, answers. We don't always get answers. We do get comfort in knowing that God is in control. He hasn't left us and nothing that has happened is a surprise to him. It maybe to us, but not to him. I have to admit, it is difficult for me to hit the "hint" button in my own life. I like to think that I know what I'm doing, and nine times out of ten, I really don't. That's the great thing about God. Even though I struggle, he is always there to give me a "hint". Life takes time, and we all go through seasons. It's so important that we are patient and wait on God and not take matters into our own hands. This life that he has given us is a gift. It may not seem like it some days, but it is. We have 24 hours to make a difference, or some days, just wait patiently. You never know what tomorrow will bring. It's important that no matter what the score board in life is telling you, keep going. No matter what your score is compared to your friends score, keep going. Life is too precious, to just give up. Each day, we get another chance to hit the "hint" button in the Bejeweled Blitz game of life. In the end, WE WIN!

Thursday, October 15, 2009


I haven't had a chance really to Blog lately but that certainly doesn't mean God hasn't been a movin and shakin. Some things I keep to my self, and other things I share. Your gonna love this one.

So, yesterday I needed gas. The gas light was on and I had already made several trips back in forth, so I REALLY needed gas. I thought I would go ahead and get it last night at the gas station near my house. I pulled in, swiped my debit card, and it so pleasantly read DECLINE. Now, I should have known better because this has happened to me before at this station. I had money, it just didn't like my card. I had 1.90 in cash on me, so that's how much gas I got. I figured I would just go to another gas station in the morning.

Well, mornings are rushed at our house and I had asked my daughter to pay something for me with my debit card. She so lovingly did that, and then put my card on the table. We were very rushed, so out the door we went. Yep, the debit card stayed on the table!

I didn't realize this until we were 3/4 of the way there. I did what any crazed hurried person would do, I threw a temper tantrum. I hit the steering wheel and let go of a horrible screeching noise. So, after that I calmed down I simply said, "Oh well stuff happens". I kept going, took my daughter to school and turned around to go back home. It's not like it was an hour away. I was only 10 min away and with traffic it was 15. It was just the hassle that my day was not going as planned. I don't think anything that has happened this year has gone as planned. LOL

I turned around and went home. I did get to have an xtra half hour of praise and worship in my car, so that made it worth it at the time as well. I got home,picked up my card, started BACK to the gas station AGAIN. That 1.90 worth of gas got me to the gas station I was originally going to by my daughters school. I pumped the gas, started on my way out, and as I went to stop at the stop sign, I looked up and there was a rainbow. You probably were so wondering when I was going to get to my point. Here it is.

To me rainbows signify HOPE. Like I said, nothing seems to be going the way I had planned this year. It is different, and better. But with that being said, sometimes I can get lost looking at the day in how I think it should be and not how God sees it. God has given me so many surprises. I believe that God loves me so much, that I was suppose to be at that specific place at that specific time, so he could show me that he is right there, and that HE is HOPE.

No matter what it is that you are going through, no matter what it looks like, if you are obedient, and do as he asks of you, even if you don't understand, he will meet you there.

Friday, August 14, 2009


Remember when you were little, it was summer, and you played outside all day. The evening would come and usually a parent would call your name and yell for you to come inside. I can remember that I had to be inside right as the street lights would come on. If I wasn't, my dad would call out for me to come in.

I loved playing outside with my friends. I have always just loved being with friends. The acceptance that you get from friends that you may not always get from parents or acquaintances is very comforting. Also, when I played outside with my friends I felt free, and not so under my fathers watchful eye.

One night, we were having a great game of kick ball. Kids from the neighborhood had gathered into a crowd to watch. We were winning. A great time was being had by all. It was getting ready to be my turn to kick the ball. I looked around and saw that those street lights were getting ready to come. That would mean the end of the game for me. There were two other kids in front of me and then it happened, the lights came on. I'm thinking, ok if I can get these other two kids to hurry up and take there turn, surely I can kick the ball one more time, and run home, before my father sees that it's dusk. I'm trying to hurry these kids and then finally it's my turn. Just as I walk up to take my turn to kick the ball, I hear "Desiree, it's time to go". Oh man! So I yell back, like this ever worked, "Dad I'll be there in a minute, I'm not done here". Oh yeah, you know what's coming next. "Desiree,I said now". I couldn't take my turn, all the kids on my team were disappointed because I had to leave. Not so disappointed that they didn't get someone to stand in for me. The walk home was full of, mumbling and grumbleing. When I got home, to my surprise, there was my Uncle that I loved very much. My dad said, if I would have stayed out there too much longer, he would have had to leave, and I would have missed seeing him. Well, that was worth missing my turn at kickball.

When God calls out to you, and tells you to move, what is your response? Do you make yourself busy so you can pretend you didn't hear him? Do you just ignore him all together? Do you hesitate? Are you upset because the game of life was just about to get good, and your father calls you in, and redirects your path? Do you joyfully follow your fathers calling out to you?

He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes out ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. John 10:3-4

Our Father loves us so much, that he doesn't want us to miss what he has in store for us. Whatever your going through today, trust your Father, and listen to the calling. He goes out ahead of us, and we know his voice.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Lil Green Bug

This was on of my first experiences that made me think I wanted to start writing what God shows me. Oddly enough it's from June of 2008. Some of you have read it before, but I wanted to put it here with my other treasured thoughts. I hope you like it........

This morning the Lord gave me an object lesson. I wanted to share it with you. Just to give you some background, I have had one of the worst weeks of my life. I think I've been saying that for 8 months now. The stress and strain is really sitting with me.
I get in my car to go to work, stressed as all get out. Just going through the motions to get through the day. I see this little odd green bug on my windshield. Ok, so I pull out of my drive way, down the street. I'm thinking by the time I get to the next block, he will have flown off. Not true. He hung in there. I turned on to Hillsborough going 45 miles and hour, thinking this is where he's going to fly off. He has little antana's and there just blowing in the wind. You can tell he's struggling, but he is repositioning his stance. He is stretching one leg, (he had 4 legs) and he does this with each leg and then he hunkers down again. I go 55mph to see how much he can take. I also said "Lord if this bug flies off the windshield I'm going home". He did get to where he was really struggling, so I slowed down. He is still struggling, but not to the point where I'm afraid he will fly off and die. He made it all the way to my job. I was so proud of him. His perseverance took him some place he would have never been able to get too.
I've been asking God alot lately, "don't you see what's happening? I can't do this. I'm not strong enough. I'm not going to make it." I believe I've been going 55 mph on the windshield of God's car. He sees how much I am struggling. He also sees when I'm about to fly off, so he slows down. He doesn't stop until we get where were going.
I know I'm not there yet, but I do know I won't be able to get there without him.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

If Jesus had a Twitter account....

I have a love of social networking. One of the things I enjoy about it is the anonymity of it all. If you just curious like some of us are, you can kinda look from the outside at how people live there lives. Do they have the same struggles and triumphs you have, do they have character, and so on.


I don't have any celebrities that I follow, however I did stumble onto Jessica Simpson's Twitter. I was fascinated at what I saw. She has 496,000 people following her. She has 25 friends. Wow! 25 friends. That number took me by way more surprise than the other. I'll be a little more dramatic than usual in this blog to get my point across. Yes some of you are asking your self how is that possible right? Ha!

Jessica has 496,000 people that just follow her around in her life. On the outside looking in, not really participating in any of her life struggles. She has 25 people that she can say are her friends. These people have an active part in her life. She probably shares her pain, her fears, her triumphs, her life, with these selective people. She has made relationships, and shared her heart to call these people friends.

If Jesus had a Twitter account......

Would you be a friend or a follower?

There are lots of people out there that say they follow Jesus. That is a very good start. How many of us can say we are his friend? How many of us can say we are having a very intentional relationship with him? Do you go to him with your deepest desires, pains, and praises? Do you have one on one time with him? Do you feel his strength and can you hear his promises in your heart when he says he will leave us?

If you are following him now and you desire to be his friend, that's even better. Jesus is so much more than a person that we merely take quick peeks at from time to time at a far. His love for us is so much greater that he doesn't want us to be on the outside looking in. He wants us to be all in for him. The thing about Jesus and his Twitter is, he is waiting for us to pick him as our friend AND follow him. He has already chosen all of us, won't you choose him?

Friends of Jesus on Twitter...... ME

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Victory in Jesus

Ok! So I haven't blogged in a while. I received and email today and it was just what I needed to get back in the saddle again.

His name is David Brown. I been following his story for the last year or so. He has been falsely imprisoned in Albania. He is a Christian. The state has fabricated a story about him in order to stop teaching children about Jesus Christ. I wish I could share his whole email, because it was amazing. I will share bits of it.

Dear Friends,
It is almost with fear and trembling that I venture to put pen to paper again.
This has been my winter of death since the verdict on 19th November 2008. John chp.12 vs 24-26 says "I tell you the truth, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves Me must follow Me; and where I am My servant also will be. My Father will honour the one who serves Me." [N.I.V.] Like verse 26 I have served Jesus by walking the Calvary Road with Him, bearing a judgement of shame for a crime I never committed.
Eventually I was able to see what a privilege it is to share this road with Him, but, when I reached the cross [the death of David Brown and all he stood for] I said "Lord, how can I follow You? For though I am not guilty of the crime I walk the road with You for, I am not pure like You are." Jesus said "But David there are three crosses. You may join Me in dying to self today and, if you look unto My death to pay the price of your redemption, as the repentant criminal did, you may also join Me in My resurrection." My seed has fallen into the ground and died, but the good news is that the story does not end there. A seed lies some time in the dark, wet, cold, unpleasant ground until it's hard kernal falls away and until, in the natural, it is dead. Then new life fills it and it sprouts - first roots to draw up goodness and then a shoot of new life rises to live again.

During the first few days the realisation of what had happened started to sink in. I had never allowed myself to believe that God would permit the trial to go against me. I had believed He would cause the truth to prevail, but it hadn't. Instead lies, false evidence and corruption had prevailed and I had been given an outrageous sentence, totally disproportionate, even by Albanian law, to the crime they claimed I had committed. I could not understand what had happened and my mind went into overload. I was like a man drowning. I kept coming up for air, bursting into tears, and then going down again into depression. Next followed two letters from close friends, who I now believe were themselves devastated by what had happened and were looking for answers. They tore into me, trying to "shake me into reality" as they said, telling me I had been deluded and had thus deceived others as well as myself with my words from God that He would deliver me. It was now time to wake up, they said, and to face the reality that I had been sentenced to 20years - the rest of my useful life. Both letters came together on the same day and, after I had read them, I literally turned over on my bed in overload, tears and pain, and fell asleep for three hours. My death to self was complete. I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me. My words were like Jesus's words "My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?" In a sense the ground had indeed opened up and the seed had fallen in and died. At first I just reeled in pain and in a great sense of injustice. I didn't need anyone to tell me about reality. Reality had stared me in the face through the bars of that court room during a mock trial and through judges who wouldn't even look me in the face as they dramatically called me "persona non grata" and declared that I would be thrown from the country on the completion of my 20 year sentence "Oh Lord why?" was my cry. Slowly I started to see I was not deluded. God certainly had not forsaken me, He still was in control and I was in the centre of His will. I hadn't wanted to go beyond the trial but God knew I needed to if the self in me was to die - and oh how it did and oh how it needed to for me to be made useful to God! Jesus's words in John are quite clear where He says unless it dies, the seed cannot bear fruit. I recorded in my journal in November how I saw my death that day and, though in the trauma of that day it may sound a little dramatic, I think it sums it up quite well. I wrote:- "Today I was sentenced to 20 years in a High Security prison for allegedly abusing two of my precious children. My sequested belongings were given to the State of Albania and I was awarded costs. I was publicly denounced to the world by a scandal hungry media as the foulest of criminals. All my reputation was publicly stripped away and I was declared a foul paedophile. My passport has been taken and my right to freedom also. New documents have been clearly written committing me to the will of the Albanian State for the next 20 years. They now effectively control every aspect of my life. I no longer have free will." Yes, at first, that seemed to be the reality that folk wanted me to realise, but I don't belong to the Albanian State. I belong to my Father God Who is the ultimate Judge and is my Daddy. He has not forsaken me and loves me wholeheartedly. He is my Saviour and Deliverer - that is what His name "Jesus" means. He knows my heart of love for Him and my innocence and He will never fail me.

I have been struggling trying to find what it is God has in store for me and if I'm going in the right direction. This email today, as I read it, I was feeling my own desperation of being imprisoned. No, nothing I go through is anything like David is going through. I thank God for that. I don't think I could have endured what he has. The desperation and fear of the unknown and how we would like the story to end and then being faced with the reality that God has something different planned for us. No matter how painful the experience God will always work things out for the good of those who love him.

Our struggles and confusion God holds in the palm of his hand. He is never out of control of our lives. It's us who get so focused in our day to day life that lose sight of him.We all have had some circumstance that has come out of left field that just has us reeling. While I was reading this I was amazed that no matter what we go through, a child that has an addiction, a spouse that has left you high and dry, a diagnosis of a terminal illness, or God just has you take a left turn out of no where and you lose your barrings for a few, we all express that feeling of "GOD WHERE ARE YOU".

It always comes down to dying to self. Dying to what we think we want or we need and just submitting to God's will. In my struggle I believe the Lord is telling me, Be Still and KNOW that he is GOD! I do for him because I love him. I will learn to BE STILL and watch what he does, because I love him. I got that same feeling as I read this email. David is in a situation he has no control over. He is solely and completely dependent on the Lord. This is where we all should be every second of every day. Sounds good, but it is hard for all of us. Other people around the world are being changed by his story. Even the guards in the prison who thought he was guilty now believe he is innocent.

David has had many people send him encouraging letters. The letters and his faith in Jesus Christ have kept him going. I think we all need to be encouraging to each other. You never know who you will reach out to where you can make a difference in their lives. People just sent David letters. People he doesn't even know, keep him going. He is able to see the love of Jesus through the letters from perfect strangers. We need to be able to that for each other as well.

At last God's healing balm, the warmth of Spring and your love from God is melting the ice of my heart. I can see now why all this had to happen. Like Job, God needed me to find Him and to trust Him in a way I never have done before. Only when all is stripped away and nothing is left to hang on to in the dark except Him, when your life falls apart and you feel like you are losing your mind, when you have lost all you hold dear, when you can no longer write as nothing makes sense enough to put it down on paper and all your dreams and plans turn to dust, then, and only then, do you realise that you can do nothing without Him. You realise that your life hangs in Him alone.

I will end this blog with the same sentence David uses to end his email

I look forward to sharing more victories to the Glory of God in my future writings.......
Please add David Brown to your prayers

Thursday, April 9, 2009


Mary Magdalene
She was only one of the women that were so grief stricken by the death of Christ. I believe it was so painful for her, because he had done so much for her. He had done for her, what no one else could ever do. He had shown her love, forgiveness and grace. When you have never seen that before and Christ does that for you, there are no words to describe what is in your heart for him.

She was so thankful to him, that she was the last one to leave him on the cross, and one of the first to go to his tomb. I can only imagine that she so wanted to express her undying love for him, by performing one more act of love for him by going to the tomb. When she saw that he was no long in the tomb, and that the stone had been rolled away, she was confused. I believe she was overwhelmed with doubt and confusion. She thought they had stolen his body, only to continue to defile the Christ that had shown her so much love. In her pain, she cried out in a death wail. I do know what that sounds like. I too have just cried out to God in such doubt and confusion that every part of you aches. I know I’m not the only one. That was her silence of heaven moment. That was her breaking point in her circumstance that had no logic and could not be explained to her at that moment. Her grief had just taken over. If it’s ok for her to have doubt and confusion in that moment, it’s ok for us to.

She didn’t know what to do, where to go, how to get out of this painful circumstance. Christ death on the cross gives us power over our confusion and doubt. Mary M was bewildered in her pain, but Christ was putting together an answer to her pain that she couldn’t even imagine. He heard her cry. He knew she was in pain. She had to go all the way through the pain to receive the Glory of Jesus Christ.

She was in agony because she had something taken from her, and she didn’t understand why. What is it that you have had taken from you, and your not sure why? What questions are you asking your self? Mary was overwhelmed by Christ being taken from her in spirit, and then his body was taken at the tomb. She had double pain. We now know that Christ has something much better for her that she couldn’t even see or think of. It’s ok if we are at a place of doubt and confusion. He understands. He loves us and cares for us, but sometimes we must experience confusing pain, in order for God to show us his Glory. Mary M was a faithful obedient servant that still experienced pain.

It’s ok if you can’t lift your head out of your doubt and confusion today. He gives us time to grieve. When you’re done, get ready, because something amazing will come out of your pain.

It Friday but Sunday is coming!