Best Friends Forever

I just want to say what a successful journey I've had on Face Book. Who knew that could be such a great tool for healing and restoration.

In the last several months I have found three dear friends from Goose Creek High School. That's in Goose Creek South Carolina. Yes it's a real place, now stop laughing. I have had a great experience finding them. With all three, the feelings have been different, yet the same.

I won't name name's but, one friend, I was able to apologize for being insensitive to his feelings and at the time not be able to accept who he is. I've been wanting to do that for years. The best thing is, he accepted my apology and were still friends. He said we never stopped being friends. Crying as I type this, give me a sec.......He didn't have to do that. He could have just told me off and that would have been the end of it. I am thankful that he is a better friend to me, than I was to him.

My other two BFF's. It was wonderful to see the pictures of them now, with husbands, and kids. They look the same as they did in high school. It is such an odd feeling of "same". I have to explain this. We haven't spoken in many years, we haven't kept up with each other, up until a few months ago, I didn't even know anything about their life after we parted ways. When I found them, my feelings for them where the same as if we were right back in high school. We were able to exchange stories and fill in the gap a little the last few times we've spoke. The road hasn't been easy for any of us, yet the feelings of friendship and connection are the same.

This reminded me of another friend I have. I had turned my back on him for many years. I had lost my way.He would offer his help and I would turn him down every time. I always told him, "stop asking me if you can help me. Does it look like I need any help? Just leave me alone". Boy did I need help. He knew that. I knew that. I just couldn't step out side of my own selfishness to let it all go. I will give this friends him. His name is Jesus!

This experience that I've been able to have on FB has just brought to mind how excited Jesus gets when we re connect with him. He doesn't care how long it's been since we've last talked, or how badly we have destroyed the years in between. He's just so excited we have connected with him. No judgement, no condemnation, just friendship. I love that about him. There are still consequences, but it so much better to do life with him, than without him.

My friends have shown me grace and forgiveness, and the "same" friendship, no matter how long it had been. Like we were never apart.

I once was lost, but now I'm found.........

Hope and Future

I know some of you are aware that I just love the devotionals by Jon Walker. The most recent one I wanted to share with you. I've had to let it sit with me for a little bit. I wasn't really getting that this was for me. His site is www.gracecreates.com. I encourage you to join his daily devotional emails he sends out. I so wish I could met Jon Walker. I feel as if we are kindred spirits. This scipture is from the devotional. I'm just gonna give you what I got out of it.


Seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper. Jeremiah 29:7 (NIV)
*** *** *** ***

This is going to be so great. Ready.

This morning I had to go to the scripture and read the entire chapter and then some. I love it when God just jumps off the pages at me. I encourage you to read it before we go on.

God CARRIED these people into EXILE. The definition of exile is to be away from one's home,city state or country, while being refused permission to return. In earlier chapters God sent Jeremiah to tell the people, look it's going to get really bad around here. If you want to live I need for you to reform your ways and your actions, be obedient, listen, and do what I'm telling you to do. I know it doesn't make sense, but I'm telling you the Lord needs you to get out of here now!

I have had this experience. Almost 4 years ago I had this very conversation with the Lord. I had just trashed my whole life thinking I could do it all on my own and I didn't need any help from him or anyone else. I was so stubborn. I was trying so hard to prove to myself that I could do this life on my own, that I ended up being my own worst enemy. I had to just completely surrender to him and die to myself. That process took a year. It wasn't just over night. God had to change everything about me before I could see that's what I needed to do.I left my life in complete ruins and moved. It wasn't slow, I moved quickly. It was all about get out of here now, it's all coming down around you. This was a physical and spiritual move for me. Not all change requires a geographical relocation, but sometimes you need drastic change in order to recieve your healing.

How confusing it must have been for these people to go from their home that they probably had always known, Jerusalem, and move their family,kids,cattle to Babylon where they probably had never even visited. Then my interpretation of what happens probably went like this. They were in a completely foreign place and they longed for what they use to know. The familiar. They probably had questions like 'What now?"

That familiar will get ya every time. God has CARRIED them out of there for a reason. They get to a new city and want what they had before. God wants so much more than the familiar for our lives. He wants to show us extraordinary things. He wants to show us how much he loves us and what we can accomplish through him. He wants to CARRY us out of the old and bring us into the new. In order to break away from the familiar he had to exile them. Keep them separated from what they knew and refuse to let them go back to it. They had to grow out of the old way of thinking, living and dreaming to be able to receive all of God's blessing. He told them to build a life for themselves in their new land. Build houses, settle down, plant crops. Your going to be here a while so make the best of it.He told them to make the city prosper, if it did, they would as well. He told them not to listen to anyone but him. Not to listen to those people saying, what your doing is nuts and it doesn't make any sense. I'm sure they all had doubts. We all have those doubts. God, am I where you need me to be? Do I need to move to where you would have me do your best work? Do I need to stay at this job, this relationship, this circumstance? None of this is familiar to me and I would like to feel the security again. How funny it is that we can long for things that weren't good for us, because that's all we know and it was familiar. Going out of your comfort zone, stepping out for Jesus can be a wild ride. We need to remember to cling to him and not to the familiar. Here we go to the best part. God's promise to them. I just love this! I have to type out the verse for you. It's so powerful.

10 This is what the Lord says: "When seventy years are completed for Babylon I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place.11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you hope and a future."

Our God is a God of hope, love, protection, promises and restoration. He has done for me so much more than I could have ever imagined. I had to be obedient, listen and move even when I didn't understand. God can see our bigger picture. It's all about timing with him. Are you in that place where you've stepped out in faith about something and you feel as if you are in the seventy year holding pattern? It's important to keep the perspective. I have to say seventy years is a long time. The thing is ,God promised them they would return in seventy years. They did. If you knew for certain what God has for you is much greater then what he has given you now, wouldn't you wait on it? If you knew that God had a plan, a hope and a future, wouldn't you wait and stick it out with him no matter what you saw happen in your life? I know nothing else in my life can give me a definate promise of a hope and a future. Not my job, not my realtionships, not my self.

When they go back seventy years later Jerusalem definitely wouldn't look like the place they left. They definitely wouldn't be the same people that God carried out of there. Change takes time. It's important to keep seeking out all the little things God does for us on a daily, weekly, yearly basis. Hold on to those things. Every day I see a sun rise, I think that if God can do that, I can't wait to see what he does with me. God is every where and he does for us all the time. We must make time to see what it is he is showing us and hold onto it. Just keep your forward momentum and your eyes on him. He will lead, you and during some points, pick you up and carry you where you need to be.
He has big plans for us, HOPE and FUTURE.

The gym

Ok so here we go. One of my resolutions was to lose 20+ pounds. I don't think I can get away with calling it a resolution any more since it hasn't changed in the last 10+ years. Lets call it a hopeful endeavor.

Anyway, the gym gives me a sneak peek at what hell must be like! There was wailing and gnashing of teeth, tears, pain, all coming from me. It's so hard and so painful. I went with Kari and Gino which made it worse. I had to keep up a brave front for the kids. I didn't want them to think that I was THAT out of shape. I didn't want to break that illusion of strength that they see. LOL.

It is a co ed gym at my apartment complex. I 'm not that crazy about sweating and making those painful faces in a room full of hot sweaty guys. I like to sweat with my own kind. Even then there are those women that are jogging for an hour and they don't sweat one bit. I'm out there for 10 minutes and it looks like I have just come in from out of the rain. I don't glow like some women. I just sweat. I did get a remark from a lady that was working out next to me on how nice it was to see someone sweat at the gym. I'm glad I could help bring a slice of reality into hells living room.

The big problem with having men in the gym with me, is the noises they make. I have been single for a while now and the moans and groans of a male is not really what I need to hear. It was getting pretty bad in there so I closed my eyes to pray. Mental note, keep your eyes open. When I closed my eyes to pray I skipped the praying and went to my happy place with the moaning. ALERT ALERT open your eyes, open your eyes! I had to shake a not so Godly vision out of my head and keep my eyes open to pray. Dear Lord make those men stop making those noises.

Another problem. They had the TV channel on the food network. What's up with that? It made it even worse. They would make a dish and I would say out loud "WOW that looks really good!"
Kari would look at me and say, "Mom, stay focused. We're not here for that." Sooorrrryyy! I get easily distracted there, as you can tell. After all that drama and I was finally finished I only burned off 100 calories. 100 calories! I don't think that got rid of the pizza slice I had for lunch. Don't judge me it was thin crust! We leave the gym and start our walk back to the apartment. Gino tells me "Dez, your being so dramatic with your breathing." I had to tell him in broken sentences that I was just trying to get as much oxygen as I possible could into my body. When we got to the stairs of the apartment building I remembered we live on the third floor! OHHHH!