Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The gym

Ok so here we go. One of my resolutions was to lose 20+ pounds. I don't think I can get away with calling it a resolution any more since it hasn't changed in the last 10+ years. Lets call it a hopeful endeavor.

Anyway, the gym gives me a sneak peek at what hell must be like! There was wailing and gnashing of teeth, tears, pain, all coming from me. It's so hard and so painful. I went with Kari and Gino which made it worse. I had to keep up a brave front for the kids. I didn't want them to think that I was THAT out of shape. I didn't want to break that illusion of strength that they see. LOL.

It is a co ed gym at my apartment complex. I 'm not that crazy about sweating and making those painful faces in a room full of hot sweaty guys. I like to sweat with my own kind. Even then there are those women that are jogging for an hour and they don't sweat one bit. I'm out there for 10 minutes and it looks like I have just come in from out of the rain. I don't glow like some women. I just sweat. I did get a remark from a lady that was working out next to me on how nice it was to see someone sweat at the gym. I'm glad I could help bring a slice of reality into hells living room.

The big problem with having men in the gym with me, is the noises they make. I have been single for a while now and the moans and groans of a male is not really what I need to hear. It was getting pretty bad in there so I closed my eyes to pray. Mental note, keep your eyes open. When I closed my eyes to pray I skipped the praying and went to my happy place with the moaning. ALERT ALERT open your eyes, open your eyes! I had to shake a not so Godly vision out of my head and keep my eyes open to pray. Dear Lord make those men stop making those noises.

Another problem. They had the TV channel on the food network. What's up with that? It made it even worse. They would make a dish and I would say out loud "WOW that looks really good!"
Kari would look at me and say, "Mom, stay focused. We're not here for that." Sooorrrryyy! I get easily distracted there, as you can tell. After all that drama and I was finally finished I only burned off 100 calories. 100 calories! I don't think that got rid of the pizza slice I had for lunch. Don't judge me it was thin crust! We leave the gym and start our walk back to the apartment. Gino tells me "Dez, your being so dramatic with your breathing." I had to tell him in broken sentences that I was just trying to get as much oxygen as I possible could into my body. When we got to the stairs of the apartment building I remembered we live on the third floor! OHHHH!

1 comment:

Joe in Tampa said...

Noise men in the Gym make - I think I can fix this for you for good - most guys make the exact same noises wilst utilizing the lavatory....